Reflection

“Reflecting on who you are today and why, opens up the possibilities of who you can be tomorrow.”-Becky Zahrte  (Oh wait that’s me…LOL!!)

I loved this thought when it came to me, and I still love it.  Please feel free to share it.

This week has been a week of reflection for me.  Sometimes I reflect in a negative way, blaming myself for all my ills in life, but not this time, not today.  Today I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that  I have been blessed beyond measure, and this is where my focus has been.

I was given the opportunity this week to do something that I knew I was called to do from my youth.  However, under the circumstances of my childhood this could not have been possible.  But God being God does what He does best.  He led me on a path.

Now this path has not been straight by any means.  There have been more hills than I care to think about, and some of those valleys were mighty deep.  I didn’t always understand why I was walking there, I wasn’t always sure I was going to make it up the next hill…..you know this is why I should lose weight.  🙂  Irregardless, I made it!  I made it to today.

Please don’t misunderstand me, my life is far, far, far away from being perfect.  I am still in a valley at this moment, but I feel like I am on a hilltop.  I feel like I finally understand why.

Like any of us, I have a story.  A story filled with despair and depression.  A story filled with love and excitement.  A story of betrayal and hurt, but also of redemption and forgiveness….It would make a great Lifetime special.  😉

But today, I am reflecting on all the amazingly good things in my life.  It’s not perfect but it is mine.  Mine to learn from and mine to share.  I thank God for all that I am and all that He has planned for me to be.  Many blessings!

Taking Over

So far this year has been a time to analyze and look at my behavior.  In order to be better we must first understand who we are.  For me this meant I chose to look deep inside at some of my behaviors.

One of my recent observations showed me that I can be overbearing and take over in a way that I didn’t even realize I was!   I tend to express my unsolicited opinion to others.  I did this because I truly have their best intentions at heart and want to help people become better.  But then one day it hit me.

A friend came to me and was just elated at something they decided to do!  I said well that is a great idea but wouldn’t it be better if you did this or added that etc. etc.  I watched my friend go from pure joy to being disheartened because now their AMAZING idea wasn’t that good after all.  I crushed them, even though I had their best intention in mind; it was MY best interest not theirs.  Even though I honestly meant well, I did them a huge disservice.

This is when I started to look deeper and realized the take over type of attitude I put on everyone around me.  My husband, my children, my friends and co-workers; these people were excited about something, proud of their accomplishments and I unknowingly made it minuscule and insignificant, because I would have done it different.  Even though I thought I was helping I was in fact hindering their creativity.  I was causing them to lose their joy.

Once I became aware that I was taking over, I consciously decided to stop.  I listen now and offer words of encouragement that is all.  If asked for my opinion I will give it, but only if asked.  I have found since I stopped taking over I feel more freedom.  I am no longer personally invested in their thoughts and actions.  I think on some visceral level I was subconsciously tied to either their perceived achievement or lack off.

Bring me your ideas, and your thoughts.  I will listen mindfully.  I will encourage you in anyway you need.  I will not offer you my opinion unless requested.  Let’s continue on in our journey this wonderful year, learning about ourselves and encouraging each other.  Many blessings.

The Importance of Support

Support is incredibly important.  It doesn’t matter  if we are talking about bridges, bras or buildings.  Without the adequate support, pieces and parts fall, it can cost millions of dollars in labor and repair and things starting flopping around in the wind.

But what about us, we human beings?  What about support in our lives?  Do we often consider the importance of support?  There are occasions where we understand it to be crucial, like when running for political office or if we are recovering from some sort of addiction we all know support is important.  But what about a normal day for an average Joe or Becky as the case may be?

This average Becky is a tough cookie.  I was taught from a young age that big girls don’t cry and the only reliable person on the planet is yourself!  Support!  Who needs it!  I am good all by myself thank you very much.  Well let me tell you from an average point of view just how far that has gotten me.

I was born a big baby.  I stayed big.  I have struggled with being overweight my entire life.  In grade school and beyond I was teased and tormented by my peers, only solidifying my theory that I could (and needed) to do things on my own.  As a teenager I became extremely self-conscious, assuming that the only thing anyone ever saw in me was my weight.  I built the walls around myself higher ensuring and affirming that the only one I ever needed to accomplish what I had set out to do was me, because I was it.

Then one day, not so long ago, my life changed.  I woke up and realized that I am working on 40 and still overweight, changes must be made.  I hesitantly sought out the assistance of a health coach.  With his guidance, I am now able to make wiser decisions in regards to my health and he supports me with those choices.  He not only guides me but offers encouragement.  It was that support and positive energy I was lacking when trying to do things by myself.

Support was something I desperately needed, but due to past hurt, I was unwilling to either recognize or accept.  This holds true for all areas in my life, be it my spiritual beliefs, the choice to become a minimalist, or the changing of my attitude and mindset.  I needed and need the support of those around me to help me through those tough decisions, to cheer me on and cheer me up.  I had to surrender to the fact that “I” alone could not, but “we” can and will.

It was a humbling day when I FINALLY understood.  However, I am extremely grateful for that moment, because it opened my eyes to so much.  That defining moment opened me to new friendships, new understandings, and the willingness to be the support for others.  A large part of the reason I chose to blog my journey and my understandings came from that moment.  I want to help others who are in the same position I found myself.

Now for my closing, supportive comments; please, like, comment, and share, show me your support!  If you are ready to makes changes with your health I highly recommend health coach, Matt Sakis!  If I can be a support to you and your changes in anyway, please contact me.  I wish you much success on your journey and hope you find the support you need.  Many Blessings!

A Lesson in Slowing Down

So here it is Saturday night and we are a week into the new year.  I promised you all that I would continue writing and taking you along on my journey.  So with that in mind and continuing on my journey of minimizing and letting go I have already noticed a change.  You see minimizing isn’t just about decluttering your life with things.  But as fellow blogger minimalistsouls noted it is about a life transformation.  You can read their article here (https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/57345920/posts/1278132003).

There is one change/mindset that I feel is going to be one of my harder obstacles along this path that I am struggling with  and that is the need to slow down!  I mentioned in an earlier blog that getting rid of the excess in my life was not going to be an overnight occurrence as it did not take only one day to accumulate.   But I, like most red blooded Americans, want it done and want it NOW!  I feel I am truly struggling with this mindset, and as I reexamine my life, it is probably something I have always dealt with.  I have never really been known for my patience.  🙂

I am currently looking around my office/craft room and seeing piles of books (listed for sale on Amazon in case your interested…rzahrte), piles of stuff to give away, and piles of stuff yet to go through.  In my head I am hearing my inner two year old scream, why can’t it be gone now!  I know, I know as I comfort her, I say I completely understand, but it doesn’t work that way.

Really if you think about it, that is the problem or rather one of the many.  We want things and we want them immediately. We didn’t slow down to think about the purchase at the time.  Was it something I really needed, or the family really needed?  We had all the good intentions in the world of using it and looked at it a million times, while it quietly sat on our shelf, telling ourselves that someday I will use it, someday I will need it, someday….someday…..

Someday never came, probably won’t.  And even if it does then what!?  The thing I probably needed/wanted to use or read will be outdated, updated and perhaps available for viewing online or at my local library.  It wasn’t something I really needed taking up space in my home.  This is the reason we have two car garages that do not contain cars and millions of square feet in personal storage units….mindless, thoughtless consumption.

SLOW DOWN!  Just slow down.  The lesson I am learning is that the piles in my home will diminish, I mean good grief its only been a week.  If I take the time to truly make the changes in my life instead of making shoot from the hip decisions, they are more meaningful and are more than likely will stick with me.  Because it is not just about getting rid of the stuff, it is about changing my view point, changing how I feel about it.

So, if you have something you really NEED for your home feel free to ask me, I may be ready to part with mine.  Meanwhile, I will be slowing down, enjoying life and the many people in it.  Many blessings!