Thoughts

Coffee or Tea?

Welcome!  If you haven’t been here before I hope you enjoy.  If you have, thank you for coming back.

I hope you take a moment to sit back and relax, with a nice cup of coffee, tea, water whatever you prefer, it really doesn’t matter.

My next step in my journey is understanding and reconnecting with the fact that the journey itself means so much more than the destination.

I am currently away at school, pursuing my calling into the ministry.  It is a rigorous schedule keeping us going from early morning to late night.  It is tiring trying to keep ones brain focused on the information being crammed in, in a very short amount of time.  I am honestly enjoying the classes, and I love learning new thoughts, concepts, insights etc.  However, one of the things that I am enjoying the most are the stories being shared.

Not just any story, but peoples stories.  Beautifully crafted conversations over a hot cup of coffee (that is what I will be drinking anyway), listening to how and why my classmates have come to the place we are all sharing.

I have mentioned it before, but it is worth mentioning again, we need to slow down and appreciate the path set before us.   Even with all I have learned and continue to learn, I forget how absolutely satisfying it is to join in on a great conversation.  Listening (not just hearing, there is a difference) to what the other person is bringing to the table.  Encouraging and building them up or disagreeing and entering into a healthy debate.

I sometimes (ok, often) forget that my life is made up of people.  It is not just the never ending list of chores and responsibilities that must be met and taken care of. I tend to become so focused on accomplishing tasks placed before me that I do not take time to enjoy my hot coffee with a friend.  I drink it alone, usually after it has become cold because I was to busy taking care of things to enjoy it while it was hot.

Society as a whole has become so fast paced, that we rush from project to project trying to accomplish all we can in a 24 hr. period, complaining that there are not enough hours in the day.  We forget…..we forget that there are others here sharing the space with us, often we are too busy to notice other than when they are in our way slowing us down, making us late.  Is this what life is all about?  Accomplishing tasks?  I argue that it is about people and relationships.  I frequently forget in my busyness to nurture either.

So….a bit of a personal reflection for you this time.  Enjoy your coffee, enjoy the conversation, enjoy the moment.  Many blessings!

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Thoughts

Change is the Only Constant

This morning I have a thought I would like to share with you….I like almost all the people I know struggle with change in my life.    I have often caught myself saying I like change and yet when it comes I can be combative and drag my heels as it arrives.

Each one of us grows older and each day we live brings new experiences, mental and attitude changes, small lines in our faces, and the changing color of our hair.  If you are like me, I started graying at the age of 16 and now at, ahem, pushing 40 I am very salt and pepper.

I have been married for 19 1/2 years, we married at 19 & 20. My 18 year old son graduated high school last night and will be walking down yet another aisle in about a month. He and his fiancee’ are expecting their first child in late October which will make me a grandmother. My daughter who is 16 will soon be a junior.  And as I drink my coffee this morning while reading my devotional I am wondering just where all the time has gone…..

I know most all the parents of graduate students wonder the same thing.  We all post on social media exclaiming how it seems only yesterday we were watching them take their first steps and here we are watching them walk out of our doors ready to start their own independent lives.

Change is the only constant in our lives.  Yet as creatures of comfort, whether we say we enjoy change or not, we struggle with the new beginnings each day brings.  We like things to remain the same, normal, expected and when someone or something rocks the boat we hold on for dear life.

We question the waves, what will it bring? Will it be the end of the storm or will we drown beneath the wave?  This fear of the unknown the hidden sea beyond the horizon is what we are truly scared of.  Yet it is our timeless companion, sure to meet us each morning and follow us through our days.  Change, constant and consistent, never leaving us behind.

 

 

Thoughts

Beauty

I love mornings!  It is absolutely my favorite time of day.  I love getting up before the sun.  Listening to the cacophony of bird song as the sun slowly creeps over the horizon.  Watching the song birds momentarily stop at the bird feeder only to quickly flutter along their way, looking for worms and insects or heading back to the nest.

This morning it is still cool out, too cool to sit on the porch. So I listen contentedly from my office, watching through the window into the back yard as several birds flit around.

My red bud tree in the back is currently budding out as well as a couple other trees.  The oaks have yet to show their spring flare but I know that is coming soon.

My yard already needs mowing, but is covered in a vibrant purple of hen bit and purple dead nettle.

It is a beautiful day to be alive and I am thankful that I was able to once again witness the dawn.

In my journey I often forget just how much beauty is around me, but today I remember and am grateful for it.  Many blessings!

Thoughts

Every Rose Has Its…….

You might have finished that sentence with thorn, but maybe not.  Perhaps you are in a more positive position than I am at the moment.  So perhaps your ending was beauty, or perfume or vibrant color.  All are awesome answers!

However, I am in a thorn mood.  I currently am finding myself battling an addiction, my own personal thorn in life.  While this particular addiction looks goods from the outside, it has a certain beauty to it, a certain perfume and vibrant color it is beyond the shadow of a doubt an addiction.

What is an addiction?  Well the dictionary defines it as the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.  Bingo!  I am addicted, addicted to stress and busywork.

I know we don’t often consider our attitudes/opinions/thoughts/concerns about a topic to be an addiction, but it can be.  I like to be busy, and by busy, I mean working myself to exhaustion and then dealing with the consequences of not learning to let go and slow down.  The very same things that seem to be the theme of my writing.  Often I feel I take one step forward and two steps back.  It is frustrating.

Currently I am dealing with some physical repercussions of not listening, hence the thorny mood. LET GO, SLOW DOWN!!!  Life is short, time being busy just for the sake of being busy is time wasted.

In the moments when I am listening to myself and what others are telling me, I find that I truly enjoy spending time with my Creator, praying with and for others.  Having conversations with those in need and seeking wise counsel for them.  I love helping people on their journey in life, as others help me.

But when I am not doing something I enjoy and have extra time on my hands, I find myself so terribly addicted to being busy that I simply “find” things to do.

Image result for letting go of stress

I am learning that “My Plan” is never the best plan.  His plan is always the best for us, even if we cannot see it in the moment.

Today, I am still learning and I praise Him that I am still here, able to show others that learning is a process and not an over night success story.

So here we go again.  Letting go, slowing down.  Many blessings in your path.

Thoughts

You Don’t Know the Whole Story

A dear friend of mine and I were having a conversation earlier today.  I was venting to her about a frustrating situation that I have currently found myself in.

She and I often talk about our faith and issues we are having.  She is someone I consider to be a true friend, my confident and often advisor.

I told her the details of the issue and how truly frustrated I am.  It seems this problem is taking longer than I would care to sort out.  After all I am a busy person and this is just taking way toooo much time (think of this sentence in the most sarcastic tone you can muster).

What my friend doesn’t know is that when she stopped by to see me I was in the middle of emailing this very same issue to another person, probably someone who I shouldn’t have been venting to about this topic.

Towards the end of our conversation, after listening to what I am going through and why I feel justified to be frustrated, she very calmly looked at me and said, “I understand what you are going through, but often times I have found that we don’t always know the whole story.”  ……..Stopped me in my tracks…..

I just wrote yesterday about the lesson I am learning about not being in control anymore and here I am again trying to pull all the strings and make the outcome the way I want it, in the time frame I want it done in.  Ouch, that hurt…..

She was and is right.  I don’t know the whole story.  I don’t know all the circumstances and I do not understand all the issues.  All I know is what is in my box in front of me.  I cannot see into all the other boxes of peoples lives and decisions.  There is only One who can, and at this moment I am going to have to wait until all the information is revealed to me.

So after she and I parted ways and upon returning to my computer I quickly deleted the email I was composing.  Apologized for not being patient and trying to take back something I already gave.  Understanding that when the time is right, all will be revealed and work out just the way it should.

Many blessings!

Thoughts

Life’s Little Stinkers

Lessons in life some time stink!  Often it is the small lesson’s; or rather let me say, it is the lesson’s that seem insignificant or minuscule to us at that moment, that make the most impact.

My previous blog, I wrote about letting things go and how amazing transformation can come from it.  In my previous stage of life thinking about letting personal habits go usually meant something big.  Issues like addictions to drugs, alcohol, pornography or other “bad” items were the first to come to mind.   And while yes, I believe letting these addictions go is extremely important, I have also found that letting go of an addiction to our attitudes can have the biggest impact on our lives.

We don’t often consider our attitudes/opinions/thoughts/concerns about a topic or issue to be an addiction, but it can be.  My personal major addiction was the need to be in control of all aspects of my life at all times.  My expectations of when household chores should be completed.  My insistence that meal times can only be 7AM, Noon and 6PM.  My control in that laundry must be completed on Saturday, etc. etc. etc.  Control, always, in all things.  When someone stepped outside of that “norm” or caused me to miss my own personal deadlines, I became angry and difficult to deal with.

I justified my attitude constantly.  I told myself no one cared as much as I do otherwise they too would be upset.  Upset that people were late for their appointments, or that they didn’t return a phone call at exactly 6PM like was agreed.

Finally, after years of panic attacks, and heart palpitations, high stress levels and more gray hair than should be allowed at my age I handed this issue over to someone much greater than I, and I was ever so glad to do it.  I often find myself repeating “just let it go.”  I continue learning how to just go with the flow instead of constantly fighting upstream.  However, I find myself so much calmer, more at peace.

If I find myself getting frustrated again I ask myself probing questions like; is it really my responsibility to solve this problem, is there anything that I can do right now to change the situation.  If the answer is “no”, I remind myself of my previously mentioned mantra and move on with my day.

I must be honest, this lesson has been hard!  It has stung my eyes and filled my nostrils with a putrid odor.  For so long, I felt that I had to be on top of every minute detail of every situation, that I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.  I think the hardest part though, has been looking back and realizing how much time I wasted trying to be in control.  How many angry words were spoken?  How many arguments could have been avoided? – These thoughts stunk more than anything.

Life is full of little stinkers.  The key is learning to recognize one when you see it.  Learning to deal with it so that you don’t end of making everyone around you stink too. Many blessings on your path in dealing with your own little stinkers.

 

Thoughts

No Really….Let It Go

It has been a couple weeks since I last sat down to write.  Not that I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t seem to find the time…..or perhaps it is because I didn’t make the time.  That seems more realistic.

I find myself being busy, too busy most of my days.  I feel a twinge of guilt and shame when someone asks how things have been and all I can muster is “Busy, you know how it goes.”  What a depressing answer that is.

Why do I find myself that busy? Is it because I think the world will stop turning if I do not take care of every little tiny thing?  Am I getting a sense of satisfaction from being too busy?  Do I make myself feel important by being this way?  Whatever the reason, I justify it a lot.  I tell myself things like, “well if I don’t who will” or “this has to be done, so…”.  So what!?!?!?.

Why can’t I just LET IT GO?

 

Just let it go….

Learning to let it go has probably been one of the most difficult lessons I have ever had to go through.  I am still trying.  Each day I try a little more.

Letting go is more than just parting ways with the physical objects in our lives.  It is also getting rid of our attitudes, our temperaments, beliefs and sometimes people.

Letting go is learning, maturing, growing and developing.  In my crazy journey, I call life, I have learned and continue to learn what is truly important.  The amazing thing I have found is that the more I let go, I also get a huge reward for my effort.  I get the opportunity to find out who I truly am, and who I was always meant to be.  I understand more and more each day how truly blessed I am no matter what the circumstances look like.

If you want to let go, or want to learn more about what it means, please feel free to message me.  Or I would highly recommend a kindred spirit of mine.  Although we have never met, I feel like I have known her my whole life.  I rejoice with her ups and I cry with her downs.  She has a blog aptly named Let It Go Coach, please feel free to read her wonderful story of being an over comer!  Until next time, Many Blessings!